ADHD, Autism and AuDHD Coaching for Communication and Relationships
“I don’t know what I did wrong, but I know it was something.”
It might be a conversation that went quiet and you don’t know why. A message you sent that landed differently from how you meant it. A look on someone’s face that you’re still analysing hours later. The feeling that you’ve missed something, but nobody’s telling you what.
For a lot of people with ADHD, autism, or AuDHD, this becomes a pattern. Not because you’re bad at relationships or communication, but because there’s a gap between how neurodivergent people process the world and how neurotypical people around you process it. It’s called the double empathy problem; the idea that when neurodivergent and neurotypical people communicate, a misunderstanding can go both ways. But more often than not, it’s the neurodivergent person who ends up carrying the responsibility.
That can become exhausting. You learn to monitor yourself constantly. To question yourself after the event. To analyse, to ruminate, to doubt yourself. And all of this at a personal cost that most people don’t even know you’re spending. Self-esteem, confidence, authenticity, your voice being silenced.
Moving from guessing to choosing.
That’s where coaching comes in. Not to fix you, because there’s nothing broken. But to help you build a way of doing things that actually works for your brain. Practical strategies and workarounds that give you more clarity and more confidence in how you navigate daily life.
This might look like building the confidence to check in during a conversation rather than leaving with uncertainty. Asking “What did you hear?” or being able to say “what I meant was…” before the gap has time to fill with doubt. It’s a small thing, but it can prevent days of rumination that might otherwise follow a single interaction.
It can also mean having language for what’s happening. When you can name the double empathy problem, something shifts. It stops being “what’s wrong with me?” and becomes “this is a two-way thing.” That’s not a small change. It can affect how you see yourself in your relationships, at work, and in the quiet moments when you’re going back over a conversation… again.
None of this happens overnight. Building a toolkit takes time, and it’s different for everyone. But there’s something powerful about moving from a place where you’re second-guessing yourself to one where you’re making conscious choices about how you move through the world.
It’s the difference between guessing and choosing. And you deserve to choose.
If you’d like to explore what coaching could look like for you, you’re welcome to get in touch.
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